Pregnancy, Childbirth & Parenthood Quotes
Prepared childbirth is a contradiction in terms. -Joyce Armor
Childbirth classes neglect to teach one critical skill: How to breathe, count, and swear all at the same time. -Linda Filterman
I already know how to breathe, and I'm the last person that needs to learn how to push. -Murphy Brown
Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside -Rita Rudner
Having a baby is like taking your bottom lip and pulling it over your head. -Carol Burnett
Have you ever tried getting out of your car through the exhaust pipe? -Murphy Brown
Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes. -Joyce Armor
Parenthood is a lot easier to get into than get out of. -Bruce Lansky
Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. -Rita Rudner
GOD could not be everywhere. That's why he made mothers. -Jewish Proverb
Before I was married I had six theories about raising children. Now I have six children and no theories. -John Wilmot, earl of Rochester
A crying baby is the best form of birth control. -Carole Tabbron
I'd be happy to stand next to any man I know in one of those labor rooms the size of a Volkswagen and whisper, 'No dear, you don't really need the Demerol; just relax and do your second stage breathing.' -Anna Quindlen
One of the most important things to remember about infant care is: never change diapers in midstream. -Don Marquis
Babies leak. From both ends. -Bruce Lansky
You know that having a baby has drastically changed your life when you and your husband go on a date to Wal-Mart on double coupon day. -Linda Fiterman
Grandma knows best, but no one ever listens. -Mary McBride